Relationship burnout is real. Have you ever felt detached from your partner? Perhaps you have negative feelings that make you feel disconnected from your partner.
And this emotional roller coaster ride that you are experiencing can become an overwhelming force that leads to exhaustion.
In this article, we’ll dive into what relationship burnout is, where it comes from, and how you can prevent it from leaving you feeling defeated.
Relationship burnout is when an individual feels detached or disconnected from a partner(s) as a result of negative feelings or apathy (Risser, 2022).
It’s real and it can be a result of various reasons. Resulting in consequences of burnout can occur on an unconscious or conscious level (Risser, 2022).
The American Psychological Association described burnout as an individual who is mentally, emotionally, or physically exhausted or overwhelmed https://dictionary.apa.org/burnout
It’s fuelled by stress, oftentimes related to professional work but can exist and affect other spaces in your life. Which can become chronic if not mitigated (Risser, 2022).
There is a great increase in the risk for burnout if you feel unsupported by your partner, (Risser, 2022).
Here are 5 common symptoms of relationship burnout:
Burnout happens over a long period of emotional stress and tension in a relationship (Smith, 2022).
Through self-awareness, an individual may begin to recognize feelings of dread when spending time or interacting with their partner (Smith, 2022).
The result of prolonged dissatisfaction or unhappiness leads to a decrease in energy and thus affects the maintenance of a relationship (Smith, 2022).
Some of these habits were exciting and cute to you before. Suddenly, you begin to react unpleasantly when they exhibit those habits.
You are not excited when spending time with your partner. You would prefer to stay alone instead of being with your partner. Your partner’s presence irritates you, and you don’t want to be anywhere close to them.
It is normal for relationships to experience conflicts, but, if these conflicts are too frequent, you might be experiencing long-term burnout.
You often think about parting ways with your partner. Anytime your partner talks about the future, you get irritated. You want to live in the present or probably stay on your own with no commitments.
You have a prolonged bad mood and negative feelings.
Numerous factors can lead to relationship burnout. Realizing that these factors have crept into your relationship is the first step to healing your relationship.
Excessive stress is a result of work, mental health, and other stressors, which negatively affect your commitment to a relationship (Smith, 2022). When met with external excessive stress, the relationship may be neglected by focusing on other aspects of your life instead of showing up in your romantic relationship (Smith, 2022). Exhaustion from other aspects of your life can affect your relationship if not met with caution and balance (Smith, 2022).
Complacency usually occurs in long-term relationships, as a result of being ‘too relaxed’, assuming everything in the relationship will always work out. Even if all partners feel excited, the relationship may be in a state of complacency. To combat this, partners should actively bring in thrills and new, positive energy they had when starting the relationship (Smith, 2022).
Unmatched energy is when a partner in a relationship does not complement each other (Smith, 2022). Putting a lot of effort into a relationship and that energy not being reciprocated may lead to feelings of resentfulness and being unconcerned (Smith, 2022).
Unresolved issues can be a cause factor of relationship burnout. It is important to understand that it is normal to have issues in a relationship as partners often have different mindsets and ideologies however, if these issues are not resolved completely or until a mutual agreement is understood relationship burnout may occur (Smith, 2022).
Lack of quality time can cause burnout as partners may not have physical time for each other, this communicates that your relationship is not creating a space for quality time and thus partners become too busy for each other (Smith, 2022). Quality time helps gain understanding of your partner and thus assists in fixing problems faster and more compassionately (Smith, 2022).
Strategies form a core part of coping with life events. When you have strategies, tools, and frameworks to work with, you are better equipped to handle the curve balls that life throws at you.
Take care of yourself physically and mentally. If you’re not well, your relationship will also suffer. Make sure you get enough sleep, eat well, exercise, and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
Talk openly with your partner about your feelings and concerns. Discuss the sources of stress and burnout in your relationship and work together to find solutions. Be a good listener and encourage your partner to share their thoughts and feelings as well.
Establish clear boundaries between work, personal time, and your relationship. Make sure you have time for yourself, your partner, and other important aspects of your life. This prevents overcommitting and feeling overwhelmed.
Prioritize quality over quantity, when it comes to spending time with your partner. Make your time together meaningful and enjoyable, even if it’s just a short date, shared hobby, or heartfelt conversation.
Rekindle the romance in your relationship. Surprise each other with small gestures of love, plan special date nights, and keep the passion alive.
Learn stress management techniques such as mindfulness, meditation, or yoga. These practices can help you stay grounded and reduce the impact of stress on your relationship.
Express appreciation of your partner regularly. Focusing on the positive aspects of your relationship and showing gratitude can foster a stronger emotional connection.
Set aside time for regular check-ins with your partner. This allows you to discuss any concerns, changes, or goals in your relationship.
Sometimes, a short break from each other can be beneficial. It gives you both space to recharge and reflect on the relationship.
If you are worried because these symptoms and causes sound all too familiar, breathe. Remember that you can recover from relationship burnout. By following any, or perhaps all, of the above 7 methods to cope with relationship burnout, you and your partner can work together to recover.
However, sometimes the best thing to do is call it quits. While only you’ll know if your relationship burnout is too far gone to recover from, it does not mean all is lost.
You’ve lived. You’ve learned. And now you are armed with new skills and a deeper understanding of what and who you might need going forward.
Disclaimer: All articles are reviewed and edited for quality control by a HPCSA Registered Counsellor. However, this content is intended to be used for educational and/or entertainment purposes and should not be taken as medical advice. Please reach out to a medical professional if you have concerns regarding your mental health.
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